


Perfect Ten, Bitch

by apexbeaer



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Explicit Language, First Kiss, M/M, Shotgunning, Teen Romance, Teenagers, don't kiss next to dumpsters kids, when i'm sick is the only time i can produce goddamn anything FUCK, y'ALL SLEEPING ON THE BEST SHIP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 09:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11620326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apexbeaer/pseuds/apexbeaer
Summary: “Kissing...s’not that great. You just get spit everywhere...and eugh, just a bad time, all around. You’re lucky. Now quit hogging the cig.”





	Perfect Ten, Bitch

They were skipping fourth period...fifth? Charlie wasn’t sure exactly but he knew that they were out in the back of the school near the dumpsters; every so often he would press his nose into a bag full of glue before Mac would pass the cigarette he managed to bum off some guy for a couple dollars. The smoke stung his lungs whenever he took a drag but at least the smell of the glue alleviated the coughing fit the cheap brand caused. The other teen seemed to try to hold in his coughs as he continued his rant that had been going on for the last hour as he waved his hands frantically. “...And I mean...the fucking  _ McPoyles _ had their first kiss! Can you imagine being the chick kissing them? Probably was one of their cousins but still gross, man, they’re sweaty...ugly too...I mean have you looked at me? I’m like a perfect ten, any girl would be lucky to kiss me!” 

A headache was forming right in the middle of his head as he leaned back onto the wall behind where he sat. He brought the brown paper bag up to his nose, taking a huge whiff, “I’unno, don’t know what the big deal is.” He muttered as he rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand as he let the bag of glue drop to his side. His eyes followed as Mac seemed to begin to pace, tapping the ash that clung to the cigarette off to the side. “Kissing...s’not that great. You just get spit everywhere...and eugh, just a bad time, all around. You’re lucky. Now quit hogging the cig.” 

That seemed to make the other brunette shut up for a second, staring off in disbelief before he twisted to look at the teen who was pressing his head against the dumpster side with no regard to how unkempt his appearance was or how disgusting it was to be that close to garbage. He took another drag before he finally handing it over. “You’ve been kissed before?” Mac asked, not even trying to hide his surprise, the smoke rising from his lips. Charlie watched the billowing curls of smoke for a moment before the other snapped his fingers in front of him. “Hey, and I don’t mean your grandma or your mom. You’ve actually been kissed?!” 

“Of course, man, jesus. Don’t yell!” He whined out as he brought his hands up to cup his ears. Mac reached over to pull his hands down with a huff before taking the cigarette from Charlie’s hand. 

“The hell, dude! You’ve been kissed, the  _ McPoyles _ have been kissed! Why haven’t I been kissed?” He took a drag as he returned to pacing. Most likely to wonder how the hell he was so undesirable, Charlie mused as he grinned a little to himself. “Who kissed you?”

“Lily Janssen. Freshman in middle school.” He finger-gunned towards the other teen who openly gaped at him. “Was a stupid dare she had to do. Came up to me and planted one right on my lips. I shoved her away and she kinda screamed at me after I pushed her into the lockers but y’know, she shouldn’t have touched me.” An exasperated look crossed Mac’s face, almost looking deflated as he squatted down to press his head against his knees for a bit to breathe without the smoke affecting it. His clean-pressed uniform rumpling with the stretch, Charlie bit back the warning that his clothing was going to get ruined. He knew how long it had taken the other to learn how to clean and iron his own clothes. “Hey Mac, the sulking is killing my mood here.” He stood up as he made his way over, his bag of glue the last thing on his mind at the moment. “You’re not missing out on much, like I said, kissing is gross. It’s all teeth and spit.”

“You’re only saying that because  _ you _ have been kissed!” Mac roared out as he snapped his head up. Charlie nearly look a step back at the angry expression if it wasn’t were for the beads of tears building up in the corners of his eyes and how hard he tried to keep his brows furrowed. “I’m a perfect ten, Charlie! A perfect ten, my teeth are perfect, my lips are soft! Like what the hel--” 

He wasn’t sure how he moved, the glue must’ve fucked something with his brain but he did. If it was to shut Mac the hell up so his headache would leave or anything else he couldn’t put his finger on it but he moved nonetheless. Pressing his lips haphazardly onto the younger’s as he reached up to cup his cheeks to pull him close. Their teeth bumped together but for a second, Charlie was stunned. For some odd reason, this was so much better than the kiss he shared with Janssen. There was a heat coiling just under his stomach and he had to say Mac’s lips were much more softer. Probably ‘cause he moisturizes or some shit like that. 

Charlie pulled away for a second, staring at Mac’s red face who looked like he was struck by lightning once his eyes fluttered open. Their lips were barely inches away as they stared down at each other. Mac was the first to move back fully, swiping his arm over his lips. “Jesus Charlie, you can’t just do that shit without letting me know!” He growled out, bringing the half-gone cigarette back to his lips to take a drag.

“Well you were complainin’ and I fixed the problem!” He grumbled out as he sat back down, crossing his arms across his chest. “You had your first kiss.”

“Doesn’t count if I had a kiss with a dude. I’m not gay. The big guy upstairs is gonna strike you down for doing that, Charlie.” Charlie shrugged in response before swiping the cigarette back barely registering the disgruntled look on the other teen’s face. The bell rang throughout the building as he stood up. 

“You were right about the perfect ten thing though.” He smirked over to him as he took one last inhale. “Your lips are pretty soft.” Mac brought his hand up to brush his fingers against the swell of his bottom lip before glaring heatedly and standing to stomp into the school building.

* * *

 

Charlie watched the way Mac’s lips curled around the cigarette, they’ve grown far from that first time. They no longer coughed when taking turns, a bottle of alcohol sitting between them. Frank thankfully was out of the apartment tonight having to do something with Dennis or something or another (he was only half listening) so he unabashedly let his hand rest over Mac’s, interlocking their fingers. It was quiet, well as quiet as you could be with the television crackling in the background. Mac’s eyes shifted and a shy smile twisted onto his lips as he pulled the cigarette out of his mouth. “Am I hogging the cig or somethin’?” 

“Kinda,” He husked out teasingly. “But you could give me the smoke in my favorite way.” Charlie waggled his eyebrows. Mac rolled his eyes before he slid over onto the older’s lap, brushing his thumb over his lower lip which he pliantly opened under the pressure. The man perched on his lap took a long drag from the cigarette before he leaned down and pressed their lips together, the smoke coiling from Mac’s lips into his own. He let out a low moan in his throat as his hands slipped to the other brunette’s hips to hold him closer. Mac pulled away, panting in between the small space of their mouths. 

“That was pretty gay.” He breathed out, pressing their foreheads together. Charlie couldn’t help the laugh that rumbled out of him before he kissed Mac again, both of them smiling and laughing as their teeth bumped together. 


End file.
